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November 2016




It Isn't Fair!

"Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.”

… H. Jackson Brown, Jr. (b. 1940) US Author

SCARFThis month we conclude our series of articles on human 'core concerns'. These core concerns speak to what is centrally important to us and we have a basic need to take care of them. We move away from a perceived threat to these concerns or move towards opportunities that we assess may enhance them. These core concerns also underpin many of our stronger emotional responses and the associated habitual actions these emotions predispose.

The final topic for discussion is that of fairness.

All core concerns are assessments. As such, they are based on standards we hold about various aspects of life. These standards are also assessments and how we have arrived at them is often lost in obscurity. So when it comes to a concern for fairness, what might seem fair to me may not be so for you.

Fairness speaks to a need to treated the same as others. We want to be given the same opportunity as others, rewarded in way that we feel matches our worth and so on. The core concern for fairness generally shows up when we feel we are being treated unfairly rather than if we are being given special treatment. This may be associated with how our need for status is satisfied when, for instance, we are bumped to the top of the queue rather than being left standing in line.

How we relate to fairness often varies as well. Some of us focus solely on fairness as it relates to ourselves as an individual, whereas others rail at unfairness in society in general. Regardless of where we look, it will not be hard to see others treating us or others unfairly. It seems to me that this is likely to become an ever-growing concern with the increasing levels of inequality in many societies today. Some have proposed that the fall of societies and nations is closely linked with ever-widening gap between the haves and have-nots and the resultant feelings of inequality and sense of unfairness in society. The rise of populism around the world as many people feel left behind within their socirties speaks in part to the validity of these ideas.

All of this begs the question of how can we better resolve the questions of standards on which fairness is based for both ourselves as individuals and society as a whole. It may well be that these conversations will be critical if we are to maintain healthy communities into the future.

If you have been reading these articles and wondering about your own core concerns, you might like to go and do a short self-assessment at the NeuroLeadership Institute.

“There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in.”

... Leonard Cohen (1934 - 2016) Canadian Poet, Singer and Songwriter

The Monthly Diversion

This month more Bill Murray parody. As you know, I love this guy!

I’d like to thank my skeletal system for all the support its given me over the years.

What is it about a car that makes people think we can’t see them pick their nose?

Disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family… They seem like nice people.

The sole purpose of a child’s middle name, is so he can tell when he’s really in trouble.

I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.

I’ve probably learned more from Google than I have from school.

I am definitely the most mature out of everyone in my imaginary circle of friends.

Cats spend two thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Alarm clocks should come with sounds like 'tiny doll feet scampering into the closet' because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.

"I do take my work seriously and the way to do that is not to take yourself too seriously.."

... Alan Rickman (1946 - 2016) British Actor

Join Us Online

LinkedInDo you want to explore some of these ideas in more depth? Then, we invite you to join our LinkedIn Group and share any insights you may have. As others have done, we also invite to offer your own thoughts and conversations if they relate to the ontological approach. You can find us on LinkedIn by clicking here.

Want to Read More?

Since the formation of Talking About in 2005, we have published our e-zine every month. Before that, Chris wrote regular newsletters and e-zines with Gaia Consulting Group dating back to 1995. If you would like to explore more of Chris' ideas then you can access our e-zine archive and view any newsletter written since 2005 by clicking here or to look at all the articles Chris has written over the years simply click here.


Chris has also written some in-depth essays on a number of topics related to the ontological work. If you would like to explore any of these essays then please click on the relevant image below.


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